Thursday, July 1, 2010

I hate diabetes

I am one of the most happy people about my life diabetes and all it is something that won't go away and I didn't cause so I just take it day by day. today is different some how not sure why my blood sugars are good between 100 and 140 so no problems there and I even got a shower device free as it is change out day. I was thinking though showers for me are not just hair washing and body soap nooo my includes diabetes it is everywhere in my life food, shower, work , driving and all. It does not take a vacation and even though I have a good healthy outlook well except that whole cure stuff I mean seriously can we get one?? but I usually don't mind it but today I was in a food joint and doing my BG check and bolusing and what not and even with the pump I got a dirty look! like I am some freak!!which don't worry I know I am not but they looked at me like stay away you might catch it to their child. Really catch diabetes you can't catch it not type 1 or type 2. I wish people were more educated. It is sometimes like oh poor girl she is too young for that. well not really it is type 1 a childhood disease but yes no child should have to endure shots and needles or even bg checks unless it is birth you know the double check of an infants bg before they leave. Today my niece the sweet adorable 2 yr old with her whole life ahead of her asked me about the cure. When?? why not now? how come I have to take shots?? I didn't know how to explain to her that she didn't deserve this and that she will become a stronger person because of it or that I am so sorry that I could not fix her. the hardest part was her asking since I am a medic why is it I can help others but not her? Her child like faith and what not are in question. How do I fix that?? We never tell her she can't do something or eat something it is just all in moderation. I hate giving her shots and inflicting this on her but it keeps her alive you know? she will look at me with those big blue eyes and she does not cry instead she is strong and deals like we all do. she just can't grasp the concept of no cure. that breaks my heart!! I have been with this disease for so long it does not phase me except when it comes to her. she deserves to go play without us checking her bg or never having to deal with a low. my biggest blessing would be for her to never have to see the inside walls in the ER due to her diabetes. what a gift that would be. She is wierded out by taking her shoes off at the docs office to ensure healthy feet blister free. and her doc is amazing heck he put up with me so she will be a cake walk. okay sorry for the rant but she is too young and deserves a cure. she gets top notch diabetes care we would do anything to make it easier but till the cure comes she is stuck with shots and ketone strips and BG checks. So we have decided to bump up our fundraising efforts for the cure and I can't wait to kick diabetes to the curve for her me my sis and the millions afficked by it.

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